处理冲突的8个小诀窍中英译文
8 Secrets People Good At Mastering Conflicts Never Told You
Mastering conflicts is a skill that sets leaders and successful managers apart from their peers. The art of resolving conflict in a professional and productive manner are able to get big projects done, keep customers happy, and get ahead. When you know how to effectively handle conflict, both your personal and professional life benefit. The ability to handle conflict has a massive impact on your success and your emotional intelligence.
处理冲突是一项能把领导和成功的管理者与他们的同龄人区分开的技能。以专业的和富有成效的方式来解决冲突的这种艺术可以做完大型项目，让客户满意，从而获得未来。当你知道如何有效地处理冲突时，你的个人生活和职业生活都会获益匪浅。处理冲突的能力对你的成功和你的情智会有很大的影响。
Know How To Recognize Conflict
他们知道该怎样认识冲突
Identifying conflict in the workplace and other settings is the first key to mastering it effectively. Ignoring conflicts is rarely helpful. Different people and organizations manifest conflict in different ways and it takes time to learn about these points. For example, conflict in a process driven company may look like slowed decision making and silences. In contrast, conflict at a rapidly growing startup company may involve shouting matches (and more!). Learning to identify conflict is what makes certain people stand out at conflict resolution.
在工作场所和其它环境下定义冲突是有效处理冲突的第一个关键。忽略冲突的话很少会有用。不同的人和组织以不同的方式表现出不同的冲突，需要时间去了解这些点。例如，在一个以流程为导向的公司发生的冲突可能看上去就像是缓慢的决策和沉默。相比之下，在一个快速发展的新兴公司发生的冲突可能会涉及到争吵（甚至更激烈！）。学会辨别冲突是一些人能够出色地解决冲突的原因。
Work Through Conflict As An Opportunity
他们把冲突当作机会来解决
Successful people know that conflict presents both challenge and opportunity. For example, if a sales professional solves a problem posed by a customer then the customer is much more likely to buy again. Keeping the potential for growth in mind is a great way to motivate yourself to work through conflict.
成功人士知道冲突既代表着挑战，也代表着冲突。例如，如果销售人员解决了顾客提出的问题，那么这个顾客会更可能再次购买他的产品。牢记成长潜力是一个很好的激励你解决冲突的办法。
Read Body Language Effectively
他们能够有效地阅读肢体语言。
Reading body language is a key skill needed to handle conflict effectively. For example, communication expert Vanessa Van Edwards explains that you can predict who will get punched in the face by reading body language. You may not realize that you already assess body language on a regular basis! Pay more attention to it and you’ll see just how much you notice in every situation, including conflict.
阅读肢体语言是一个需要掌握的有效处理冲突的关键技能。例如，交流专家凡妮莎·爱德华兹解释道,你可以通过阅读脸部的肢体语言看出谁将会挨揍。你可能还没意识到你已经经常地在评估身体语言！只要你更多地关注它,你就会看到包括冲突在内的每一种情景都会有很多能让你注意的东西。
Learn From The Best In Conflict Management
他们从那些最有效地处理冲突的事例中学习
Masters of conflict resolution learn from others who have gone before them. They take the time to read books and use conflict resolution resources. Signing up for a single weekend workshop on conflict management is enough to radically improve your skills. Just like you hone other skills — paying special attention to conflict resolution can up your emotional intelligence drastically.
冲突解决大师们会在那些先行于他们的人身上学习。他们花时间读书并使用那些解决冲突的资源。报名参加一个关于处理冲突的周末专题讨论会足够能快速提高你的技能。就像你磨练了其它技能—特别注重解决冲突能大幅的提升你的情商。
If you are frustrated with your approach to conflict, seek out insights from books, experts and mentors. Asking for advice and seeking constant improvement is a key reason that successful people stay on top.
如果你对你解决冲突的方式感到沮丧，那么从书本，专家和导师中寻找见解。征求意见并不断改进是成功人士能够一直站在顶端的一个关键原因。
Focus On Their Actions and Choices
他们重点关注他们的行为和选择
When you are faced with conflict, it can be difficult to think clearly. You may feel attacked by your boss, for example. Rather than focusing on blame “and who started it,” there is another approach to consider.
当你面对冲突时，很难思路清晰。例如，你可能感到被你的老板狠狠责骂。相比把重点放在责备“是谁开头的呢,”有另一可以考虑的途径。
Ask yourself what choice you can make next to move forward. You can ask for a break from to reconsider your thoughts. You can also take a few deep breaths to calm yourself. Giving yourself a pause means you are more likely to come up with solutions (instead of escalating the conflict).
问问自己你要做什么样的选择才会继续前进。你可以休息一会儿再重新考虑你的想法。你还可以做些深呼吸让自己镇定下来。让自己暂停下来意味着你更可能相处解决方法（而不是使冲突升级）。
Think About The Future
他们考虑未来
What comes to mind when you think about the future? For many people, the future suggests options and possibilities. Asking the other party to focus on the future is a helpful technique, especially if the discussion is going around in circles. Ask the other person what they want in the future. That kind of question will move the discussion closer to a solution.
当你考虑未来时你会想到什么？对许多人来说，未来暗示着选择和可能。让对方重点关注未来是一个有用的技能，尤其是在假如这个讨论毫无进展的时候。问问对方他们未来想要什么。这种问题会让讨论更接近达成一个解决方案。
Show Respect For The Other Person
他们对对方展现出尊重
In our culture, we constantly see images of conflict – battles, hotly contended sports games, elections and more. Competition inspires us to do our best. However, successful masters of conflict never forget to show respect for the other person. Well-known expert William Ury proposes that showing respect for the other person – even during civil wars and high tension situations – is a simple way to move a discussion forward.
在我们的文化中，我们经常看到冲突的画面—战争、竞争激烈的体育项目、选举等。竞争激励着我们做最好的自己。然而，那些成功的冲突解决大师永远不会忘记对对方展现出尊重。知名专家威廉尤里提出，表现出对他人的尊重—甚至是在内战和紧张局势期间—是一个能够推动解决争论的简单方法。
Speak Up In Conflicts
他们在冲突中畅所欲言
Conflict is difficult. Some people respond to that reality by ignoring the situation. Often, avoiding conflict only makes the situation worse. That’s why masters of conflict resolution speak up and bring conflict situations into the open. This habit takes time and experience to develop. For example, it is often a wise idea to postpone addressing a conflict situation if you are in a public place. Instead, ask to meet the person privately and raise your concerns with them in a one-on-one setting.
冲突很困难。有些人对那种现实不理不睬。经常的，逃避冲突只会让情况变得更糟。这就是为什么那些冲突解决大师要对冲突畅所欲言并让冲突的情况公开。这种习惯需要时间和经验来养成。例如，假如你处于公共场所，推迟解决冲突往往是一个明智的做法。相反的，你还可以请求亲自去见对方，和对方一对一地尽早解决冲突。
